Tomorrow

          Tomorrow is the big day. Or at least we hope it is! Tomorrow is the day that my newest grandchild is scheduled to be born. The somewhat unusual choice by it’s parents not to know it’s gender has added quite a bit of suspense to the occasion.
         As the hours tick by I find myself becoming more and more anxious about tomorrow. It’s not like I haven’t been through this before, but it dawned on me just this morning that this time feels different for some reason. The level of emotion I am feeling is definitely higher than any other time that my girls have given birth.
         I began to remember back through the years to the births of my grand children. They all are special to me but some jump out as being extra special. Jacob was the first. Being first always holds special meaning. It was so wonderful to be a grandfather, I was so proud of him and still am to this day. Then there was Anna Kate. I still remember the shock we felt when we found out that she was born at home with the help of a mid wife. It was such a departure from what we were used to that at the time it was hard to comprehend. Although many of Monica’s kids were born like this, I have to admit, I never got over being scared.
         Elizabeth was Amanda’s first born. Being a single mother, and living with us at the time created a situation which we had never experienced before. By default we were directly involved in the day to day raising of her. At times I felt more like her father than I did a grandfather. Ten years later that special bond between us still exists.
        And now there is tomorrow. This child born tomorrow will be my first grandchild since my divorce. I am now on the front line, no buffer between myself, my daughter, my grandchild. That’s the difference. That’s why I feel the way I do. I feel so much closer to my daughters now than I did before. I feel more of a sense of responsibility this time around. But you know what ? I like it ! I like it this way and I am so looking forward to the future with this and every single one of my grandchildren, Those here today, arriving tomorrow and all those to come!