Christmas

      Christmas has traditionally been one of my favorite holidays and it continues to be even though so many things have changed in the past two years. I can't even begin to describe all the emotions and feelings connected with the Christmas holiday.
      There are however a few things that I am absolutely sure of, the most important one is that this Christmas season marked a turning point in my life that has been in the making for for a year and a half. Finally after all the drama and all the struggles and all the craziness, I am beginning to feel really comfortable with where I am, and the decision I made to start a new life. It was the biggest and toughest decision of my life, but it was absolutely the best thing I have ever done. I love my new life and the one with whom I share it!
        The other thing is that I have two of the most wonderfull children in the whole wide world! My time with them over the holiday will always be remembered as something very special.
         My youngest, Amanda, has been my biggest supporter over the past year, always being there for me and trying to understand why I chose the path I did even though it turned our family life upside down. She took me in when I had no where to go and always listened to my side of the story, trying to understand even though it didn't make a bit of sense at the time. And now in the biggest display of her love for me she has reconized my new love and welcomed her into her family's life. I cannot fully express how much I love her and how much this means to me! Her compassion, love and understanding will stay with me through the rest of my days.
         Monica, the oldest of my two girls, also endured a year of suffering and turmoil due to me. She unfortunately was left to deal with the majority of the emotional overload that consumed her mother.I can only imagine how it made her feel to be barraged with all the hate and anger her mother felt toward me. But as time went along and the real story began to get clearer, I think her love for me began to break through like the sun through a heavy morning fog. A ray here and there slowly becomes a flood of warmth and light. I was welcomed back into her life open arms and she too has accepted Joyce as a part of my life and therefore a part of her life.
        I want her to know that we are here for her in her time of need and this will become the days and months that redefine our relationship with each other. This is a new beginning , a new life and a new level of love for us all.              
      This truly will be a Christmas to remember!!

    

"Birthdays"

I had a birthday just the other day.
It felt kinda like the day before.
Nothing good about being another year older.
That's life I guess...
Better than the alternative
I know,
been there, done that.

"In My Life"

         The year was 1965, I, like so many kids at school were caught up in the music of the day. I had scraped together enough money to buy my first ever album,"Rubber Soul" by the Beatles. I bought it again a couple of month's ago in the newly released digitally remastered version on cd. Little did I know back then that forty some odd years later one of the little known cuts from the album would have such profound meaning for me and my Baby.

In My Life
There are places I remember
All my Life, though some have changed,
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain.
All these places had their moments,
With lovers and friends I still can recall,
Some are dead and some are living,
In my life I've loved them all.
But of all these friends and lovers,
There is no one compared to you,
And these memories loose their meaning
When I think of love as something new.
Though I'll never loose affection
For people and things that went before,
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I'll love you more.
In my life I'll love you more.

         With so many years of water under the bridges of life, our conversations inevitably turn to discussions about people, places and past relationships. This song really puts into perspective how I feel about this subject. Although there are people and places that had their moments, and will never loose their meaning, no one will ever compare to you! In my life I'll love you more .

" The Perfect Match "

           As I sat and watched TV the other night I kept seeing a commercial for eHarmony.com, one of the more popular online match making sites. Their claim to fame is that they supposedly match you to perspective mates using 29 different dimentions,whatever that means! It made me think about what I have told many people over the past year about me and my "Baby", as I like to call her, is that if I were to make a list of everything I would like to have in a woman, she would come up as my perfect match!
           I didn't sign up for her, I didn't "google" her, I really wasn't even looking for her. There was one thing I was doing, I dreamed of her every day! I dreamed of a woman who would love me as I would love her. Someone to share with me the joys of life and love as I had never done before.Magically she just appeared one day and changed my life forever. 
           Your perfect match isn't someone who is just like you, it's the person who is that rare combination of being like you in some ways and different in others. This allows you to feel as if the two of you together are like one, but stronger as individuals because of what the other one adds to the relationship.                
            I am so fortunate to have all of these things and more. I sometimes find myself in disbelief that after all these years I have found my "Perfect Match"