Christmas

      Christmas has traditionally been one of my favorite holidays and it continues to be even though so many things have changed in the past two years. I can't even begin to describe all the emotions and feelings connected with the Christmas holiday.
      There are however a few things that I am absolutely sure of, the most important one is that this Christmas season marked a turning point in my life that has been in the making for for a year and a half. Finally after all the drama and all the struggles and all the craziness, I am beginning to feel really comfortable with where I am, and the decision I made to start a new life. It was the biggest and toughest decision of my life, but it was absolutely the best thing I have ever done. I love my new life and the one with whom I share it!
        The other thing is that I have two of the most wonderfull children in the whole wide world! My time with them over the holiday will always be remembered as something very special.
         My youngest, Amanda, has been my biggest supporter over the past year, always being there for me and trying to understand why I chose the path I did even though it turned our family life upside down. She took me in when I had no where to go and always listened to my side of the story, trying to understand even though it didn't make a bit of sense at the time. And now in the biggest display of her love for me she has reconized my new love and welcomed her into her family's life. I cannot fully express how much I love her and how much this means to me! Her compassion, love and understanding will stay with me through the rest of my days.
         Monica, the oldest of my two girls, also endured a year of suffering and turmoil due to me. She unfortunately was left to deal with the majority of the emotional overload that consumed her mother.I can only imagine how it made her feel to be barraged with all the hate and anger her mother felt toward me. But as time went along and the real story began to get clearer, I think her love for me began to break through like the sun through a heavy morning fog. A ray here and there slowly becomes a flood of warmth and light. I was welcomed back into her life open arms and she too has accepted Joyce as a part of my life and therefore a part of her life.
        I want her to know that we are here for her in her time of need and this will become the days and months that redefine our relationship with each other. This is a new beginning , a new life and a new level of love for us all.              
      This truly will be a Christmas to remember!!